The Most Gratuitous Olympics, Featuring Ryan Lochte!

Oh Beijing! How I will miss thee! From swimming to diving to swimming to rowing to swimming to sailing to swimming to volleyball to swimming, there was certainly no shortage of gratuitous displays of male...perfection. And Ryan Lochte, pictured above after winning a gold medal, is arguably the most attractive, gold medals aside. (If you do wish to argue on this subject, I would thoroughly enjoy that, as long as you include extensive pictorial evidence.) Oh, those wet, hot, American swimmers. London feels so far away!

Three Hot Swimmers

This is the American 4x200 free relay team. Ungodly hot, right? Ricky Berens, Ryan Lochte, and Michael Phelps make the day so much easier to get through. But being the 4x200 relay team, you'd be inclined to think, wait, where's the fourth team member? Well, he was conveniently cut out of a lot of the coverage, both in photos and on NBC. See, while these three exemplify every perfect thing about watching the Olympics, the fourth resembled a mere mortal. I don't even know his name, and I'm not about to Google it anytime soon. I just don't care. But, I do thank nymag.com for their excellent coverage about all the really important parts of the games. And isn't that what this is all really about?

Wet Hot American Swimming - Phelps + Lochte

Okay, so Ryan Lochte wasn't actually a part of the winning men's 4x100m freestyle relay team that beat the French, but he's really just so smoldering that I had to post this. Michael Phelps, on the other hand, not only led off the winning team, but he somehow gets even more attractive than he already was with each gold medal he wins. Is that so wrong?

Watch the Olympics!

Why? Because magically, Michael Phelps morphed into some absurdly attractive beast in the water. Him and Ryan Lochte make the Olympics so much better.

I Love the 90s! - B-Grade Boy Band Edition

LFO - Every Other Time

BBMak - Still On Your Side

O-Town - All or Nothing

soulDecision - Ooh It's Kinda Crazy

98° - Because of You

I know you listened to this shitty/awesome music. Yay for the age of TRL! Which B-grade boy band's silly single got your groove grinding with their peppy pop?

Bellevue's Full of Money = Duh

To reinforce the obvious, here's an article from the Seattle Times:
Neiman Marcus attracted to Bellevue's rich demographics

The BMW M3 = Pretty Blonde

The BMW M3. It's very gorgeous in that familiar, non-exciting, seen-it-all-before kind of way. You know, like a blonde, American model. It's like the Marissa Miller of cars, ridiculously hot in a very expected way. And just like Ms. Marissa Miller (the other M3, perhaps?), that's not at all an insult. They're both composed of deliciously sumptuous curves. It's a symbol of reliably good looks that will get you very far in life that will impress the general public but won't blow the tops off of anybody familiar with the competition at the top end of their respective industries. As CNet's review puts it, "while it is a great-looking car, it doesn't earn a top design rating as it's not a complete head-turner." That said, both Ms. Miller and the M3 are exceptionally pleasant and stimulating in every sense of the word. I can't say anything about the character of Ms. Miller, but I have seen the M3 blow by me blazingly fast. Yes, it's the good life for those lucky individuals who find themselves in an M3. But I'd rather have me a Ferrari.

Confusables - Malaysian vs Filipino Co-Pilots

Not me! But very deceptively close. This is Co-Pilot Down. They are a "punk/alternative/hardcore" band from Malaysia. They are Asian. They might be a little crazy. But that is where the similarities end. Their Myspace is here:

http://www.myspace.com/copilotcrash

Which makes me wonder, why didn't they choose /copilotdown as their address? Copycats.

FIVE Blades, Dammit!

Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades

Would someone tell me how this happened? We were the fucking vanguard of shaving in this country. The Gillette Mach3 was the razor to own. Then the other guy came out with a three-blade razor. Were we scared? Hell, no.

Paula Deen + Iron Chef = OH GOD!

This may be the greatest episode of Iron Chef ever. Ever. I LOVE me some Paula Deen. Now if only I could find the whole episode...

Robin Sparkles - "Let's Go To The Mall"

Because How I Met Your Motheris fantastically hilarious. And because the 80s didn't come to Canada until 1994.

Good French Musique!

Yelle - "Je Veux Te Voir" - She's cute as a button and sassier like a bell pepper. That made no sense. But this song is AWESOME.


TTC - "Travailler" - Because even trashy French music is classier than the average American rap song. It's all about working!

Google their lyrics. They're absurd.

Oh, Hipsters!

Question: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

a. "You mean you don't know?"

b. "It's a really new number, you've probably never heard of it."

c. "I was totally into that joke last year before it became popular."

d. All of the Above.

Right then! From here.

And that lovely picture is from here, where you can decide if somebody is a hipster or just "special."

Estelle + Kanye = American Boy

Damn catchy, genre-crossing, rhythmic, perfect for summer.

THE OFFICE IS BACK!!!

Oh, Michael Scott! That cringe-inducing/lovable oaf is back and hosting a dinner party with Jan, his live-in lover. Oh goodness gracious. They take the whole George and Martha routine and bring it to exceptionally painful new heights. I'll attempt to post it later...

Because It Really Is Oprah's World...

MUST MAKE ROAD TRIP TO OPRAH.

The Killers?

Remember listening to The Killers? Weird to think about that now, when's the last time you sat down and listened to Hot Fuss? Well, there you go. "Somebody Told Me," all for your wonderful, almost-nostalgic pleasure! Yikes...

Work = War!

This is awesome. Spectacular. AMAZING. War at the workplace takes on a more literal meaning than those petty squabbles and water cooler gossip. Seriously. I want to work somewhere that lets me play with stuff like this. The best USB gadget ever!

BMW Concept CS = GORGEOUS PICSPAM!

Because I can't help myself. Who can resist a car that reminds me of the absolute ferocity of the old 8-series? Holy mahoney!

BMW Concept CS Side View Mirror = Whale Fin!

I LOVE this car, because even through the side view mirror resembles a glamorous whale fin, it's still the sexiest rear view mirror I've ever seen.